Q Resources :: Coming Out on Campus

Q Resources > Campus Life > Coming Out on Campus

Welcome!

The Basics

Campus Life

	Coming Out
	Transitioning
	Safer Places

History of LGBT at CU

Other Resources

Sitemap

Q - TIPS

• Keep in mind that coming out is a lifelong process. Coming out is also a choice that you should feel full control of in your life.
• “Outing” someone else or having yourself “outed” to others unexpectedly either intentionally or not can be very painful. Find support if this happens to you.
• Think about how, when and where you choose to come out to someone. For instance, a holiday dinner or a heated argument may or may not be the best time to come out to your family. Having supportive people around you during, before and after you come out to others may help in the process.
• As you come out to friends and family, people might not all react in the same way. Just as it may have taken you some time to adjust, it may take others some time as well.
• As you decide whether or not to come out to a larger group (spiritual, social, local), think about the climate and cost. Do you fear for your safety? Are their supportive people you can turn to in the group? Ask yourself “what will I do if I am not accepted?” and “what will I do if I AM accepted?”
• Many LGBTQ people have multiple social identities that experience oppression in our society (i.e. a person of color, a woman, transgender, disabled, etc.) and thus face multiple challenges in being out to others. Homophobia and transphobia is prevalent throughout our culture. At the same time, people may experience sexism, racism, transphobia, etc. within the larger LGBTQI community. It may at times feel like you can not truly be yourself all the time in the multiple communities in which you identify. Click here for more resources.

“Coming Out” is a the process of accepting and/or admitting to yourself or others that you are gay, lesbian, bisexual and/or transgender. This process may follow a time of questioning one’s sexual identity and/or gender identity. The process of coming out, or thinking of coming out to yourself and/or others as gay, lesbian, bisexual, transgender, queer, etc. is a complex process. Coming out to yourself can provide a sense of freedom and relief. You can find out more about who you really are and begin to reshape your life. There are similarities between coming out about your sexual identity and your gender identity, but there are also differences. If you are coming out to yourself or others regarding your gender identity, please see the section that discusses transitioning.

There are many challenges you maybe faced with in deciding whether or not to come out to others such as family, friends, classmates, roommates, professors, teammates, etc. Safety, comfort, and how you think someone will react, may affect your choice of when, or if, you decide to come out to others.

As you are thinking of coming out, remember that you are not alone. There are many other students here at CU dealing with similar issues (click here for Q - stories). It is important for you to get support, and to start building community. There are several places you can start: the GLBT Resource Center, student groups, and counseling and psychological services, just to name a few. Click here for an extensive list of resources.

Keep in mind that coming out is a lifelong process. Coming out is also a choice you should feel like you have as much control over as possible in your life. While societal forces pull LGBTQ people into the “closet”, gaining control over your life by feeling empowered in your decision to come out to others , whenever you feel ready, is an important step in your development. Not every situation is the “right” situation to come out. It is valuable to not feel guilty about your choices. Know that many LGBTQ people make the decision to come out differently based on readiness in each situation.